I was once told how little you may know while walking through a valley. When you hurt and feel pain, there’s usually not much to say. It’s the climb through it that you begin to grasp words and experiences. It seems that only as you near the finish line of the valley that God begins to bless you with words and a lesson from what you just walked through. This is me. It has been close to 5 months since the end of a relationship I believed to be my last. It was a blindside by God, yet a purposeful one. It’s funny how we think we know it all, how things should turn out, and we tell God the moves he needs to make. No, no, no, that’s not how our good Father works.
Yes, I recently am out of a relationship and the walk from it was tougher than I ever imagined. I want to talk less about me and more about what it takes to breakthrough, and how we deal with it. Relationships aren’t easy. Commitment isn’t easy. It’s very rough. And some things truly aren’t meant to be so we must realize that God really does have something better for our lives. You cannot confuse a WANT and a NEED. I believe break ups can be rougher now than ever for one very obvious reason, social media. Social media has become its own kingdom and we are all to blame. It’s a place where unrealistic relationships get glorified and people are placed on a pedestal that doesn’t have the strength to hold them. Then, you go through a break up and you see all these couples. You see all these pictures and jealousy, bitterness, the sadness of what you “used to have” can creep in. The Key? Shift your mindset. Ask God to reveal what’s real and true. Ask God to expose the lies you’re being told. Ask for the strength to see a better future than you could possibly imagine.
Next, the pursuit must continue. I see a lot of breakups happen and slowly but surely, the personal lives of each one can become a MESS due to the internal battle each person is still facing. It is not easy to cope with, and I personally know this. Key #2? Continue the pursuit. The pursuit I’m speaking of is your own self. It’s working on you. It’s growing you. It’s growing with God. It’s a belief in you that your feet will keep moving and you will be a better [you] because of what God has allowed you to walk through. It’s easy to move on from a past relationship and believe that your tie with that person was the lifeline of your identity. WRONG! You are your own person and a special one God made (with a purpose, for a purpose), at that. Get to know YOU. Get back to the person you were called to be. You don’t need anybody else’s help to know how to be yourself (wow that’ll preach).
Key #3? People need people. Even though I’ve said this many times in my life, I never realized how prime it would be in the midst of a breakup and the heartache that follows. You better have the best people around you. You better have rockstars. You cannot walk this life alone and when the world really feels like it’s falling apart, isolation is your biggest enemy. Find those people. Pray for those people and hold onto them. When you fight your battles together, you’ll come out a winner. It’s the people that will speak the truth to you, cry for you, cry with you, encourage you, stand up for you, and be your biggest EARS.
And finally? It’s about releasing your grip. Only then will your breakthrough become your reality.
Whether the break up is old or new, chances are you’re still allowing yourself to be connected. It’s hurting you slowly. Maybe you can’t let go of them. Maybe you can’t quit stalking their social media, peaking back at old pictures, and whatever else haunts you. That’s okay, but it’s not okay to stay in that season. If you stay in a mindset of “what if” you’ll never step into God’s “what could be.” Write that down because your key is letting go and holding tight to God’s hand for the future. His plans for you are bigger than what you’re imagining and the weight is not yours to carry (Ephesians 3:20, Matthew 11:28).
You will never receive something or someone new from God with a CLOSED HAND.
It’s when you release, open your hand, and trust God, that new doors begin to open..slowly but surely.
I encourage you to fight through the hurt of the breakup and trust God for the breakthrough. The pain is not forever.